the underlying reasons
by carlalala2
Summary: wow...my first story...ok so basically...Janeway finely listens to her heart and tells Chakotay how she feels. the only thing I own is my idea, paramount owns Janeway and Chakotay : meanie!


The Underlying Reasons ~ A J/C story

A.U. Note, This story takes place when Kathryn Janeway and Chakotay were cadets. An idea popped to me one night while I was reading stories on Fan Fiction, and watching Voyager DVDs. What would it been like for Janeway and Chakotay if she was 18 and he was 20 and they were cadets and they had everything we had (cell phones, ipods, ipads, CDs and DVDs.) Plus the stuff they had in the 24th or whatever year they take place in. I hope you enjoy.

A.U. Note 2: this story goes back and forth in POV of Janeway and of Chakotay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Janeway POV

Kathryn Janeway didn t understand Chakotay s problem. One week the two of them are best friends, the next week the two of them aren t talking. Well Kathryn is trying but texts, phone calls, and emails go unanswered. This as been going on for weeks, almost months. Why can t he just be a man and talk to me. It s like he s PMSing or something. B elanna told me he had a secret girlfriend or something but I don t believe it. I ve known him since I was like 7, now I m 18 and we don t see the world eye to eye anymore.  
I know he likes me, he told me like five million times but since I m dating Mark there s not much I can do, now can I? I don t understand his problem, if Chakotay would have told me how he felt when my father died things could have been different, but no. He wasn t man enough to tell me then, and he s not being man enough now. I guess people can t change, no matter how hard they try.  
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Chakotay POV

I m not ignoring Kathryn. Honestly I m not. Its just between classes and seeing my girlfriend and studying I don t have time to see any of my friends. My girlfriend Sally, lives on Vulcan but she comes here once a week. You see she has classes here on Earth once a week with me in command class, but the only problem is Kathryn is also in that class and both girls sit on either side of me so I can t make out with Sally and I can t talk to Kathryn. The only thing I can do is not answer Kathryn s texts, phone calls and emails and hope she gets the hint. I don t mean to hurt her, but what else can I do? My brother Chakloey dated Kathryn years ago, when we were younger, much younger. I always liked Kathryn, ever since Chakloey brought her home to meet the family. I never thought Kathryn would like a guy like me, until ..until that night we were talking on Starfleetbook (Starfleet s answer to face book, same idea just used by people who are in Starfleet). I don t know how it started but we were playing truth and dare and she picked truth and I asked her if she liked me and she told me she loved me ..man did I fuck up!

That night on Starfleet book Chakotay just came home from a hard command class and saw Kathryn was online, he thought it would be the perfect chance to talk to her and found out some things about her that they couldn t talk about in class. Those things happen to be about us, or lack of us.  
The chat went as follows:  
Chakotay: hey Kathryn Kathryn: hey Chakotay Chakotay: so .how did you find today s lecture on staying calm under pressure Kathryn: mhm I didn t like it all that much since the guy beside me kept asking questions about the Borg.  
Chakotay: hey, at least those questions the professor was able to answer, the girl beside me wanted to know about Q.  
Kathryn: I rather deal with Q then the Borg thank you very much.  
Chakotay: why?  
Kathryn: Why what?  
Chakotay: Why Q?  
Kathryn: he seems to be nice.  
Chakotay: want to play truth or dare?  
Kathryn: do I have a choice?  
Chakotay: not really .I think we don t talk much in class and besides, this is like the first time in a long time we happen to be online at the same time.  
Kathryn: what s your point?  
Chakotay: lets see .when we were growing up, you spent more time with my brother than me and well ..I want to know you.  
Kathryn: oh ok fine you go first then Chakotay: true or dare?  
Kathryn: truth Chakotay: did you love my brother?  
Kathryn: fuck no!  
Chakotay: so why did you date him?  
Kathryn: I can t remember Chakotay: Kathryn you guys dated for 7 years, you got to know Kathryn: well I don t. truth or dare?  
Chakotay: dare Kathryn: I dare you to tell me .what you think of the girl who sits beside you in command class Chakotay: which girl? You or Sally?  
Kathryn: me, no dummy. Sally Chakotay: she s hot .but not as hot as you Kathryn: not as hot as me?  
Chakotay: ya. Truth or dare?  
Kathryn: truth Chakotay: do you like me?  
Kathryn: in what way?  
Chakotay: more than friends way Kathryn: like lovers?  
Chakotay: ya Kathryn: ya

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Janeway POV I know I only see Chakotay like twice a week. Both times in command class. I still remember that night on Starfleet book and I asked him how he felt about Sally the only reason I asked was because I heard rumours that she liked him and I wanted to know if he felt the same way To be honest.. I dated Chakotay s brother to get to Chakotay. I didn t like the brother, he wasn t my type and my father hated him, so did my mom. My sister Phoebe, she loved him. Then again she loved any guy who my parents thought were no good, she got sick and tired of being the good sister, and when I say good I mean good. She was good in art class, and drama, and music. Me on the other hand was good at math, science, French, Spanish, English, history and drama. I loved history, history was one class I loved going to, I loved learning dates and wars. I always dreamed about being in the history textbook for doing something good, but the only way that will happen is if I made a time machine or something and was the first female to change history like that is going to happen anytime soon. But a girl can dream.  
If Chakotay doesn t talk to me soon I m going to ask admiral Paris to take me out of the command track and place me in the sciences, that way I wouldn t need to see Chakotay anymore. Just knowing he s dating someone is pain enough but for him not talking to me, makes me want to die. I really want to be in command but there is a chance once we are done in the academy that he and I would be commissioned onto the same ship, one of us captain, the other would be commander. With me out of the picture, Sally and Chakotay have a chance to work together on the same ship as captain and commander and make that relationship blossom.  
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 2 weeks later Chakotay POV

Kathryn isn t coming to command class anymore ..the professor didn t make any comment today about Kathryn not being here. Maybe she s sick .or maybe her mom is, or even her sister. I know since her dad died her family as be come closer to each other and there are no secrets. I m sure she told her family about the two of us not talking, but that s not the point. The point is, Kathryn never misses a class, when I was sick she would be able to hand me notes for the class I missed. Maybe I should drop her a text. No, maybe she wouldn t answer ..I ll ask Sally what to do .no that s not a wise idea. I ll talk to B elanna since the two of us have a class together and I ve seen B elanna talk to Kathryn so I m guessing the two of them have some classes together too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kathryn POV

I did it, I m out of the command track and entered the science track. I still see B elanna and I met these two new guys Harry and Tom. The two of them are so sweet. B elanna told me she likes Tom but I can t see Tom going for B elanna, she gets mad very quickly. I remember the day that I went to admiral Paris s office to ask him for the transfer, he asked me why and I told him that I want to try the science track, if I don t like it I promise I ll go back to the command track. I miss going to command class but its better this way, much better.  
Shit! I thought I wasn t going to see Chakotay anymore but since my new class is right beside my command class, and its at the same time I just saw Chakotay, he s talking to that girl who always sits beside him, so maybe I can just walk into my class without him seeing me lets hope.  
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Chakotay POV

Why is Kathryn going into a science class? Oh shit! Sally just asked me something.

Chakotay? Is everything ok? , Sally asked with worry since he looked a bit spaced out or something.  
umm, ya Sally, its nothing. Go into class ok? Save me a seat, I just remembered I got to use the washroom before class starts. You know how our professor can be. ok babe, love you Chakotay saw B elanna so he thought he might be able to talk to her before class started, besides class doesn t start for another five minutes.

hey B elanna! B elanna turned around the second she heard Chakotay s voice. She pulled Kathryn beside her and whispered something in her ear. Kathryn stayed .oh no .maybe I should head back to class sit beside Sally.  
hi Chak .you remember my friend Kathryn don t you? hi Kathryn its been a while Chakotay, its only been two weeks since I left the command track Kathryn answered sweetly.  
Kath..Tom, Harry and I will see you in class ok? B elanna knew the two of them needed to be alone.  
Ok, save me a good seat Kathryn knew they would, and she knew Chakotay would ask who Tom and Harry are.  
Why did you leave the command track? I thought you wanted to be a captain like James T Kirk. Chakotay knew that he was the reason, but he wanted her to say it.  
Chakotay, the reason I left had to do with you and your secret girlfriend I thought we were friends. I told you about Mark and you didn t tell me who you were dating. Hell, even B elanna doesn t know who the girl is. All she knows is that your dating some chick! Kathryn ..you left because of Sally? Who the fuck is Sally? my girlfriend .she s the girl who sits beside me in command class ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kathryn POV

I heard enough. Sally .he s dating Sally. Out of all the girls he could have dated, myself included he chooses some Vulcan chick! UGGHHH! I m going to walk away and head into class, and forget that we were once friends. I started to turn my back to him when he told me he was sorry.  
Kath I m sorry Chakotay, don t fucking Kath me and we both know your not sorry I leave him, alone in the hall while I head off to my class. I m going to be a science officer, command isn t for me, or at least it isn t for me right now.  
Once I get into class, with 2 seconds to spare I see where B elanna and the guys are, I walk to the row and sit beside B elanna. She hands me a note.  
What happened?  
With who?  
Chakotay duh. don t be dumb with me Kath, he loves you and you love him He s dating that bitch Sally.  
That Vulcan chick?  
The one and only. Unless there is another Sally in his command class.  
At this point, our professor, professor Macline, calls on me to answer some question about what to do in a warp core beach . At first I was going to answer the question as if you are in the command track but then I remembered where I was, so I drew a blank. Thankfully Tom came to my rescue.  
You dump the core, sir that happens to be right Mr. Paris. Miss. Janeway, you can learn a lot from Mr. Paris and not from Miss. Torres. yes, sir Kathryn said weakly.  
At the end of class, Kathryn started to head towards the lounge when she heard some yelling. She knew it had nothing to do with her but she walked toward the yelling anyway since the lounge was in the same direction, when she saw who was fight. Chakotay and B elanna.  
She loves you Chak! I don t give a fuck Bee don t fucking Bee me!, she loves you, always loved you I bet, and I know you. You fucking love her! That chick you happen to be with is just a distraction, a distraction that your with because you can t get the girl of your fucking dreams! B elanna! YOU KNOW SHIT ABOUT ME, SHIT ABOUT MY DREAMS, AND SHIT ABOUT SALLY! WHY DON T YOU FUCK TOM PARIS OR SOMETHING! Kathryn was thankful that no one saw her walk by. She made her way into the lounge, sat down and took out her textbook. Tom came over and sat beside her.  
hey Kathryn hi tom sorry about what happened in class, I didn t mean for you to get into shit its, ok. I should have been thinking or reading or something other than writing notes to B elanna did you see what happened after class? Between B elanna and Chakotay yes .and B elanna is right, I do love him she knows that or she wouldn t have said anything about how you feels ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chakotay POV

B elanna is right. I do love Kathryn. Sally is just a thing, its not like I m in love with her, but I just like her. Sally is great to be around. She s a lot like Kathryn, yet she isn t. I know she is a Vulcan and Vulcans don t feel anything but that s what makes this between us even better.

I m still trying to understand why Kathryn isn t taking the command classes anymore with me, she loved them. Her answers were so right, our professor loved her. But now, class seems empty without her. Sally would send me notes asking me about stuff that I would need Kathryn to help me get, but now I m like the smart one. I wish I wasn t, I wish Kathryn was still in class. Maybe she s mad at me, but why? What did I do? How was I to know that she liked me? Or better yet, love me? If I knew she liked me, let a lone loved me I would be with her right now and not Sally. Oh look, Kathryn is on she ll be willing to talk to me.  
============================================================================ Chakotay: hey Kath Kathryn: hi aren t you with sally tonight?  
Chakotay: please Kath, don t push me away, don t turn your back on your dreams, your hopes Kathryn: you know nothing about my hopes and my dreams! If you did .things would be different Chakotay: let me in, tell me those hopes and dreams, tell me what your heart needs, what you dream about at night when no one is around you, when no one can help you make those dreams come true Kathryn: no, Chakotay. those are my dreams, and I dont plan on sharing them with you, anytime soon. and dont even ask why, I dont want anyone to know my dreams. those dreams are mine for a reason.  
Chakotay: Kath ..my sweet, sweet Kathryn I want to help you make those dreams happen .just let me in Kathryn: did you say my sweet, sweet Kathryn? Chakotay: yes ..ummmm ummm ..  
Kathryn: Chakotay? What s wrong? Your speechless what did I say?  
Chakotay: nothing nothing is wrong and its not what you said its what I said ..or what I want to say Kathryn: which is what?  
Chakotay: did you hear my fight with Bee?  
Kathryn: not really, well until you two were yelling. why? what are you not telling me?  
Chakotay: ok then I ll tell you I love you Kathryn ================================================================ Kathryn POV

Did he say .what I think he said? That he loves me? I should check I read him right -  
Kathryn: you love me?  
Chakotay: yea, why wouldn t I?  
Kathryn: because you are with sally Chakotay: she s nothing Kath, nothing. Its you I love .please come back to command class, I miss you Kathryn: I miss you too .but I cant Chakotay: cant what?  
Kathryn: cant begin to tell you how long I've waited for you to say that to me and i cant go back into command class. I asked admiral Paris to let me go back into command this morning, but he said no.  
Chakotay: did he say why?  
Kathryn: he said, that i can't switch back once I've left command...now i need to earn it.I shouldn't have done anything.  
Chakotay: why did you go to the sciences? I thought you wanted to command Kathryn:i do want to command...but once i saw how close you and sally were getting...  
Chakotay: and you felt unwanted by me?  
Kathryn: ya...that's why i left...i thought you...you didn't like me...didn't want to let me date you Chakotay: ohhh Kathryn...I'm sorry for making you feel that way...I don't...didn't want you to feel this way. you should have told me...i could have made you feel better.  
Kathryn: think...tomorrow...we can have a coffee after class?  
Chakotay: you mean at 1600?  
Kathryn: ya, my treat Chakotay: where will we meet?  
Kathryn: infront of command class? and it doesn't have to be a date...unless you want it to be Chakotay: we can make it a date...i've wanted to date you for a while now...and infront of command is fine by me.  
Kathryn: ok, see you then ============================================================================ Chakotay POV Kathryn asked me out? I can't believe it! Kathryn Sara janeway! my brothers ex girlfriend asked me out!I hope she still likes me after what I did with sally. oh course she likes me. she asked me out!

Chakotay and Kathryn finished Starfleet, and went off their ways...then come voyager, for 7 years of hiding the feelings that they had, when voyager came home, they dated, got married and had 6 children.

fin 


End file.
